MEGADOSE OF APIGENIN GOT ME SEEING THE FUCKIN GRIM REAPER AT NIGHT
AUGUST 4, 2022
So you feel the fame has been very isolating? It has, yes. I mean, there’s plenty of folllxx out there who have it worse than me, but it is tough. No one wants to hear me complain, but it’s honestly a struggle.
I know how you feel. The weight is really heavy, but no one likes it when you try to shed some. Yeah, I think that’s a nice way of putting it.
You know, I’ve noticed that a lot of the family you used to have in your videos, they really aren’t in them anymore. I find it a little sad. What are your grandparents names? Phil and Mindy, Can Opener Mindy?
Mary, Mary and Phil. Right, that’s it. Your grandpa was the star of season one. I love that you do that, by the way, make seasons of Youtube videos.
Thank you, that’s nice. And grandpa was the star of season one, no doubt. He’s done a lot for me, they both have.
And your cousins, what are their names? Timmy. They’re both named Timmy? No, Timmy and Chat. Uhh, his name is Chat? Like chat, have a conversation? No, Chad. Like the country. Oh, um, OK. I mean, that doesn’t sound right to me, but you would know better than I would. Stevie smiled.
I just bring them up because, you know, they were in your videos so often in the beginning, and I would guess they’re your support system, that they keep you grounded and safe. But I just don’t see them in many of the newer videos, just makes me think that’s part of why you feel isolated, that maybe you don’t have that support system like you used to. I hope you’re still close with them.
Wow, it’s amazing Jen Psaki watched my videos like that. I’m really honored. Well, I’m a journalist now, Stevie. I left the government and now I have to find the truth, no matter where it takes me. Can’t do that unless I’m doing the work, full stop. Right, Stevie said.
So your grandparents, your cousins, they’re doing well? You’re still close with them? Yes, and yes. They’re doing good, and they still are my support system, like you said. Just because they’re not in the videos, doesn’t mean I’m not close with them.
Good, that’s good. So Stevie, a lot of the Season 4 stuff so far has shown a greater focus on politics. And I have to say, you have a far greater understanding of it than I did at your age. Your video essay on the parliamentarian was excellent. I loved how you set that up too, right in the middle of making the biggest rubberband ball in the world. Came out of nowhere!
Yeah, I think that ended up working out well. Shout out to JP Morgan, they agreed to donate a thousand dollars to charity for every meter in diameter. We just missed three meters, but we were still able to donate two thousand dollars to the Committee for Responsible Governance, and I’m really happy about that.
I love that, having fun while doing good.
Exactly, Jen. I’m glad you appreciated it, it’s been somewhat polarizing but I think I just had to take a stand. Sometimes it’s not just about how popular a video is, it’s about how much truth it contains, how much it’s willing to challenge convention. I truly do believe the parliamentarian is a threat to our democracy.
No question, I agree with you there. Now overall, what are your thoughts on how Joe Biden has done so far?
I think he’s doing a great job. He’s really underrated. I’ve always been a fan, even back in the day when a lot of people didn’t know about him. To see him doing good things as president is just great to see. The most progressive president of my lifetime, but at the same time, a throwback, oldschool politician who can reach across the aisle. He’s like an 80 year old bottle of wine, just getting better and better as he ages. Can you imagine how great he could make this country if the Republicants and the parliamentarian weren’t colluding to destroy the fabric of our democracy?
Well put. Wow Stevie, you know, it is just so impressive to see such a possessed, driven young man. I know you’re just a social media debutante for now, but any plans to branch out? A future in politics?
Well, I’m a long way away from that, but I’ve always felt a deep affection for people, and who knows? Maybe that’s the way I can help the most.
I can just see you now, late thirties, early forties with the Kennedy haircut, making smart, reasonable policy choices to better our nation. Stevie T, 21st century Camelot!
Turn this shit off kid, I can’t do it. Just disgusting. This is profane, honestly profane. Season 4 is so fucking dudley kid. A segment on the parliamentarian. How fucking sad is that? He does this every video now. Every single video. This is his whole life now, taking the gayest, least important Democrat idea he can find and tap dancing with it. He’s doing it to spite me, I swear to god. Had his fingers crossed when we truced, he didn’t wanna truce at all. He wanted to destroy me, destroy my soul. Unfollowing me wasn’t enough, he won’t even say my name now. Thinks saying it will curse him. He said my name was fucking Chat. And then Chad, Timmy said. Said it wrong twice.
Such bullshit kid. I told him ten million times that shit wasn’t recording, it was blinking because it had low battery. I pulled that shit out of the depths of Mom’s closet, it was busted. He doesn’t care, he’s going apeshit. Won’t stop twisting the knife. He’s trying to trigger me as much as possible, I swear to god. Swear to god kid, these videos are made to enrage me. The video from Tuesday, you see that one? No, Timmy said.
An abomination. Started out innocent enough. Blind taste test, Can Opener Mary’s diarrhea chili versus a can of wet cat food. Phil was wheezing, you know I love that. I was like, here we go, kid is on the way back. Then halfway through the video, BAM! Segment on based Bidenomics. He actually used those words, like that legit came out of his mouth. Kid John Wicked his own video for no fucking reason. Wow, Timmy said. Glad I stopped watching.
It’s crazy how far we’ve fallen kid. All the way down the fuckin mountain. Stevie’s doing his shit for the Drecks of society and they got me bigly shadowbanned. The lames wiped the internet clean. Anybody making a lip of sense just buried in the digital rubble. He legit shadowbanned me. I know he did. His freaks made calls to bigger freaks until they got it done. My Instagram yesterday got seven likes, deadass. Fucking unfathomable. Nine hundred twenty followers, only seven likes. Less that one percent. Can barely say that out loud, just kills me. Putting up indica numbers kid. He buried me. Went back on the truce with the quickness, I can’t believe it. He was more traumatized than I thought, farther gone than I thought. That time in the desert. Something happened. Something he hasn’t recovered from. He left part of himself out there. He saw some awful truth, it broke him. The retraction didn’t fix it, Leslie crying didn’t fix it. He pretends it did but inside he’s melting. He saw something bad out there in the desert, they got him bad. Got Gulf War Syndrome or something. They hit him with the CIA Full Retard zapper kid, turned that shit on full bore. Hit him like Morpheus in the Matrix, brain just leaking out his nose. Some of the shit he says now is just insane. I mean, the videos are one thing but even in person, my god. I gotta beg him to hang out and then he finally does and it’s like, the wrong side of the uncanny valley. I’m like, what the fuck is going on with this kid. He was daydreaming about playing Rapunzel in a movie. I swear to god. He wanted to have Michelle Rodriguez or somebody like that climb up his hair. I was like, what’s the plot kid, like, why are you trapped in a tower. He couldn’t think of anything, just kept saying she’s gotta climb up my hair, she’s gotta climb up my hair, I’ll be Manpunzel. I said, Manbunzel? Come ON kid. He said no, Manpunzel with a P, but damn bro, that’s not bad either. Wrote it down in his phone. Fuckin kid is obsessed with that mane. I said kid, could you stop brushing it and just chill, let’s hang out, I miss you. Kids going autistic on those strands. Playing his head like a fuckin harp. He got pissed I said the word strands, shits nuts.
At least he’s not grey anymore, Timmy said. At least, I hope he’s not grey anymore? Maybe The Psaki Zone Technicolored him.
Nah, he’s normal colored again. That was wild. The heart of July, Tito’s like a football and Stevie’s skin is literally grey. And what did he say? Some bullshit excuse. He was like, oh yeah, I hurt my big toenail playing basketball, it got infected. They got me on antibiotics, turned my skin grey. It’s normal. I said, it’s normal? You look like the me want honeycomb monster got covered in ash. The me want honeycomb freak got Mount Saint Helen Kellered kid.
He was like, I’m going Lion King, Timmy. I said, you look like Scar has a tumor on his pituitary. His haircut is fucking insane bro, like the way it sits on his head. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like a fuckin Picasso paining bro, the angles. Shit’s getting closer to his eyebrows or something. He had the Paul George hairline with grey skin. Looking like some Skinwalker Ranch shit kid. No more room for the GoPro, forehead was like a rotten McDonald’s french fry, horizontal.
He was laughing when we said this shit, Timmy said. Usually a roast gets him, I saw the kid crumble when I called him Pennywise. But we were ripping him apart and he loved it.
He pretended he loved it kid. He probably went home and blew indica smoke in my voodoo doll’s face. You know I can’t smell out of my left nostril since that blunt? It’s fucked. What a fucking RAT this kid is. I can’t stand it anymore. The truce is off Tim, I’m calling it now. Can’t support this shit, it’s sick. I’m plotting. I’m plotting, kid. Detoxing off the pens, going full sicko mode. Alpha Brain black label, dopamine fasting, staring into the sun until it hurts like Hubermans says. Full on warfare. I’m gonna get 60 Minutes to do a un-retraction. Put Leslie at gunpoint, make her say, actually, Stevie really did snap Ellen Degenerate’s leg. He had Prest Malone rig that shit up for ten million VC. Take both of them down kid, scandal of the century. Then I’ll bring Stevie back to freedom. Carry him like a sack of potatoes outta the Deep State Network amniotic pod.
Damn kid, it feels good to say this. The truce is OFF. Neurons going fucking DUDLEY. There’s no telling what I’ll do. Trade in those pens to be a four dimensional alien gorilla. Gonna take this kid’s soul. Steal all the Teamsters Shao Kahn style. Execute the Tedophiles like I’m Q, kid. Trust the plan.
Bro, I wanted to talk to you about this, Timmy said. I knew it was headed this way. Known for a while now. It’s good that you’re going Goggins for your own life, I don’t know about revenge, but either way, you really don’t need that much hostage tape. You had the Joe Budden beard last night bro, whole lower half of your face was straight black.
Kid, I mouthbreathed for a whole decade of my life. IQ was lowkey single digits. The combat tape is a gamechanger. Remember that time I took dad’s CPAP machine for the night? I was a genius the next day. Made the best post of my life. Sky was the fucking limit kid, I coulda hacked Prest Malone’s smart mirror to loop that Dennis Schroder replay. Now, it’s gonna be like that everyday. Gonna have Stevie wishing he was fucking DEAD.
You shouldn’t be saying this shit out loud. What? Everything bro, but especially the CPAP thing. Dad’d be pissed if he found out, still. As far as he knows, he hid it where he hid the salsa, just blacked out that day. I can’t believe we even got him to believe that. Who the fuck would ever accidentally hide a CPAP machine? It doesn’t make any fucking sense.
Chill, Tim. Kids whispering like I put a fucking ancient curse on my dad. It was only one night, and I got a B minus on the midterm the next day, the guy’s usually pumped on that.
Bro, the doctor said he dies like fifteen times a night, he legit needs it. Wearing someone else’s CPAP machine is weird as hell, anyway.
No lie, kid. Shit was smelling like Saquon’s DICK in there.
I just don’t know, bro, Timmy said. Stevie’s gone off the rails, but maybe it’s better to just let him be. He’s going through some things, and who knows, maybe he’s like Fence bro, just a deep state warrior behind enemy lines.
You’ve been saying that shit for a minute kid, we both know it’s not true. The kid’s too vain to be a revolutionary, he’s not doing shit. I’m gonna end this shit one way or the other, I swear to god. I’m plotting, kid.