REALLY? LESLIE ASKED. THAT’S NOT WHAT MY TRUSTED SOURCES ARE SAYING.
February 27, 2022
Another year, another sordid chapter in the long and dark history of Hollywood. But you may be surprised by the arc of this year’s chapter. Dysfunction at a major studio? No. Predatory behavior by a famous actor or director? Also no. This year, in a shocking and possibly premeditated act, Ellen Degeneres was gravely injured by a metal rod at the Kids Choice Awards.
Rumors have been swirling about what really happened last month, but details have been slow to emerge. Nickelodeon, the Forum, and the city of Los Angeles have all declined comment, citing the ongoing LAPD investigation. LAPD acknowledges that this investigation is ongoing, but won’t say much beyond that. No one, in fact, will say much of anything.
Tonight, we talk to some of the people closest to the event, to see this horrible and strange event through their eyes. We talk to experts in building construction, arena management, and traumatic injury care, to gain a sense of what may have happened and what may be happening behind the scenes. And lastly, we share what could be the biggest break in the case yet, a true window into what actually happened that night.
The story will continue in a moment.
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They were silent for a long while until Stevie spoke. A true window into what happened that night, he said.
Leslie’s got an ace up her sleeve, Tito said. I can tell. Stevie, what’d you think of her?
She was really nice, I mean, I did the best I could. We didn’t vibe great but I didn’t have much to say. It’s hard, I was right there but like, I have no idea how or why that happened.
I hear that, Christ. What a night. Felt like I hit Chet’s pen, was in another friggin world.
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The Kids Choice Awards is normally one of the silliest award shows of the year, with big stars, orange red carpets, and slime. Lots and lots of bright green slime. This slime comes in many forms – after thirty five years, the mad scientists at Nickelodeon have elevated it to an art. There are Slimecopters, Slimemeters, Slimenados, and more. First airing in 1987 as an offshoot of the show Rated K: For Kids by Kids.
Wait, did she say FUBU? Like those jerseys kid? Fucking Nickelodeon was started by FUBU? No dude, what? Boys, stop talking.
It has steadily grown in popularity through the years, and some of the biggest names in all of Hollywood now make the annual pilgrimage. Will Smith, Adam Sandler, Tom Cruise, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all won awards, and Rosie O’Donnell, John Cena, and the late Whitney Houston have hosted it.
This year, one of the people attending was Ellen Degeneres, host of the enduringly popular Ellen Show. In this video posted by Nickelodeon on Instagram, she can be seen posing for photos on that famous orange carpet, her wife by her side.
Yeah, oh yeah, Ellen said, this is my eighth year here, this one’s really a lot of fun. A lot of dancing, a lot of slime, you never know what to expect. We really love it.
Less than two hours later, Ellen would be crumpled up in the aisle in front of the stage, her leg shattered by a metal rod. Just how that metal rod came to be? Unclear to this day.
Ellen was there to accept the award show’s highest honor: The Generating Change Award, given to those who have tried to bring positive changes to a new generation of kids. She was also up for another award, something a little more whimsical: Best Celebrity Lookalikes, with my new friend Stevie T. He appeared on screen and the whole room erupted.
He made it, he made it baby, Tito roared. This kid, this kid. He grabbed onto Stevie’s shoulderblades and squeezed.
Do the lights have to be this bright? They are really bright. Oh, we thought you’d be used to that, Leslie said. I don’t like this one behind me. It’s really bothering me. Leslie was smiling but Stevie looked panicked on the screen. I’m serious, I’m sorry, it’s very distracting. I don’t like it at all.
I can’t believe they left this in, Stevie in the room said. Oh my god, kid. You are FLOUNDERING right now. It’s his Nixon moment, Phil said. Sweating like a pig in front of those lights.
Our rigging crew wasn’t too happy with Stevie, but I found him mostly charming once things settled down. The camera cut to Leslie and Stevie walking side by side through a well manicured park.
Now Stevie, what do you remember about that night?
I’m not sure how much I should say. I know they are investigating. I think it’s best to let professionals do their work.
Well, sure, of course. But I’m not even asking about the incident itself. Let’s just talk about the night. Walk us through what that was like for you. Yeah, I mean, it was really fun until it wasn’t. I remember I got there, that was one of my first red carpets – orange carpet, Leslie said. Right, right, my very first orange carpet, so that was a really special experience. I talked to TeenMagazine.com on the orange carpet, shout out to Teen Magazine.com. Kid, don’t try to sweet talk your way out of this horrible curse. Shhhh. The interviewer was really cool, she was really young and she was roasting me about being too old now for the Top 16 Under 16 list they do. A sad day, Leslie said. Right? I guess it comes for all of us someday, Stevie said. Leslie smiled.
So yeah, once that was done, one of the ushers, really cool guy named Mike, walked me down to my seat, I was in the fifth or sixth row. I just hung out there, they took my phone so just kinda taking in the scenery, watching the Slimecopter fly around. We’ll get to that, Leslie said.
I was thinking we would, yeah. So yeah, then Ellen and her wife came, they couldn’t have been nicer. She knew I was a little freaked out, maybe not freaked out but just like, you know. It’s a lot. So she calmed me down, we talked about Hollywood, she gave me advice and stuff. Anything you can share? Um, you know, it was just stuff like, be true to yourself, trust your instincts. I think stuff everyone knows, but it’s cool to hear from someone so successful.
So you and Ellen are good? Oh yeah, I think so. I really hope so. I really liked her, I hope she liked me too. I’ve been trying to reach out to her, haven’t heard anything but I really am praying for her, sending as much good energy as I can.
So let’s talk about the Slimecopter, Leslie said. A very cool invention, Stevie said. Was really cool to see it flying around the arena. Technology! You know that’s not why I’m asking.
I know. Listen, like I told Joy, I think what ended up happening just really freaked me out. I really wasn’t in the right headspace. Looking back at it now, I mean, of course I shouldn’t be talking like that. I’m sorry I said that. They just told us not to acknowledge what had happened, there were so many people out there asking for information. I stepped out onto the street, it was like a hurricane. I didn’t recognize the guy.
InfoWars, Leslie said. That’s Alex Jones’s website. Yeah, I know that now. Stevie, Leslie said. I just think you should know better. Pretending a POC was killed by a helicopter? It’s just, in such poor taste.
Well, it’s a Slimecopter, not a helicopter, and I mostly agree that it was wrong. Mostly? Yes, mostly. I was really just trying to be funny. I didn’t mean anything by it. I love Ludacris’s music and I would actually be devastated if he died. I just feel, the punishment is not fitting the crime. They made me bow down on The View, like literally. I got on my knees and bowed, to the elder council over there.
Elder council?
OK, I’m sorry, not like that. But I bowed down, said how sorry I was. You saw that, right Leslie?
I did. And I thought it was good you showed such contrition, but I’m not seeing that here. The punishment not fitting the crime? Don’t you feel like it’s a little, sensitive, to call this a punishment?
Yeah, you know what, you’re right. What I said was wrong, I said that on The View and I’m saying that now. And I’m sorry to Ludacris’s family. You know, Leslie said. We talked to Ludacris and he said his daughter is having nightmares of the Slimecopter crashing into their house, and it actually cutting Ludacris’s head off.
I can’t believe they kept this in too. Dude, I’m looking like an ASSHOLE on 60 Minutes. Can’t fuckin believe it.
Don’t talk like that, honey, Mary said. Tito put his arm around Stevie. I’m with ya, son. I’m not liking her attitude one bit. Christ, she’s really trying to nail you to the wall. What does the friggin Slimecopter have to do with Ellen? This is shady as shit. Something’s not right here. Tito, baby, quiet. I wanna hear this, Mel said.
I understand, Stevie said on screen. And I’m so sorry that I caused her any stress. I tried reaching out to Ludacris, he didn’t get back to me, but I hope he knows that I didn’t mean anything by it. Okay, Leslie said, her voice sounding unconvinced.
Thankfully, Ludacris was not really harmed on the night of the Kids Choice Awards, at least physically. But of course, someone was - my good friend Ellen Degeneres. So how was Ellen doing? This was the most important question we had, but all our requests for updates on her condition were refused by her publicist, who would only say that Ellen is ‘recuperating’. The exact injuries she even suffered are unclear, and so far that information has been guarded closely. Not even the vaunted TMZ has been able to determine what exactly happened. We showed cellphone footage available on social media to doctor Ken Choi, who is the lead trauma specialist at Mount Riverside hospital in Los Angeles.
Well, Leslie, this is really just a shot in the dark, given that I’m not able to examine the patient and the footage quality is not great. But from what I’m seeing, and from the sound of the rod, I can only imagine this is quite a devastating injury.
Devastating, Leslie said. Any more specific than that? Well, any bone that is being hit like that, with the speed of that rod, it’s certainly a fracture, most like a comminuted fracture. Now, what does that mean? That would be a fracture where the bone is breaking into small pieces. Oh dear. Yes, it’s quite a difficult injury. If this rod is striking the kneecap directly, I would say the kneecap is quite likely shattered. If it’s striking one of the big bones of the leg, it’s still causing damage but maybe not to that extent.
Now here is where things got interesting. Shortly after our interview with Dr. Choi, just forty-eight hours before our air date, a package without a return address appeared in the 60 Minutes mailroom. The contents of that tape?
The actual Nickelodeon footage of the event, providing the clearest video evidence yet seen by the public. We will be showing that for the very first time here tonight.
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Holy shit, Stevie said. They got the official tape. Damnnn, the kid is glistening right now. Stevie, you shook kid? I don’t know what to think anymore. They’re making me look horrific. I asked about the footage like a hundred times, I just have no idea. We didn’t get along that great but I thought Leslie liked me.
Yikes, Chet said. Everyone else was silent. They breathed through a double set of commercials. Stevie felt like all the tension in the room had been sucked up into him, that everyone else had gone numb while he surged with voltage. His palms were sweating and he rubbed them continually against his pants. The ticking came back, cleaving the two halves of his brain down the middle. The TV was bigger than the sun, radiating out into the room.
What follows is roughly how the accident would have appeared, had the official broadcast aired. Viewer discretion is advised.
The nominees for Best Celebrity Lookalike are: Alabaster King and Jamie Foxx. Brock Wippleton and Brock Lesnar. Someone screamed EASY from the crowd. OK?, the presenter said, and the crowd laughed. Stevie T and Ellen Degeneres. Jaxxon Rockefeller and John Travolta. A camera crossed the rows on a cable, moving diagonally from the left edge of the stage towards the aisle running through the middle of the arena. The camera reached Stevie and Ellen in its arc and they found its gaze instinctively, making matching peace signs. It swept over them and then rotated towards the stage, so the backs of their heads were visible at the edge of the camera’s vision.
And the winner is….Stevie T and ELLLLLLLLLEN DEGENERES!
The camera swung around again so they were facing it, and they found it again and dragged their hand across their chests to promote the charity. They slid out towards the aisle, hugging people along the way. When they reached empty space they started their stomp routine and the camera rotated in a continuous thirty hundred and sixty degree loop. Stevie found the timing of its orbit, and every time it reached a certain point in its rotation he would stomp. What the hell am I watching, Phil said. You look so good, honey, Mary said.
It rotated and rotated and he put more and more swing in each stomp, making eye contact and gesturing to his chest when he could. Ellen did the same. Kid, incest mating ritual? Tito squeezed Chet’s ear until it turned purple.
Look at him go, Phil, just look at him, Mary said. Feels like just yesterday he was dancing for you, now he’s dancing for every Phil in America. I’m sure they’re all thrilled, Phil said, and the whole room laughed.
You guys know what’s about to happen, right?
Aw Timmy, Mary said. I just like watching Stevie dance, that’s all.
A creaking was audible on the TV, underneath the stomp music. It cut under the beat of the music like a river under a house. Stevie did his final spin on camera and Stevie in the room lurched, gripping the leather armrest until it crinkled in his hand. The couch careened through space, bouncing off things felt but unseen in the black void. It’d always been hard to imagine he was on a large rock in space, but now it didn’t seem so crazy at all, as the long as the orbit was eccentric and unpredictable. You orbited around till the places you knew were unrecognizable, maybe the same places curdled into disorder, maybe new places made to look like offensive facsimiles of the places you once knew. Things reflected back in exactly the way you thought they wouldn’t. He spent a life and a half out in deep space, and then Ellen came back from the spin and the rod launched out, snapping with extreme force into her leg. She howled and the screen faded to black.
That is just horrible, Leslie said. She was sitting again with Dr. Choi. It’s very tough to watch, he said. I’ve been doing this so long, I’m no longer very squeamish, but this was tough to see. My heart goes out to her.
I can tell this has done nothing to change your assessment as ‘devastating’. Yes, Dr. Choi said. If anything, this has reinforced my worst concerns. It is pretty clear to me, this rod struck her kneecap directly. And I’m confident, not positive without seeing the patient, but I’m confident that the kneecap was shattered.
So just what was this metal rod? We spoke with Mark Wilson, a VP of innovation at Buildnomics, a consulting company that advises developers on large construction projects. What on earth would this type of equipment be doing?
Now Leslie, keep in mind I haven’t inspected this particular rig, so I don’t know for sure. But to me, with my experience, I’d have to say this seems like some sort of accessibility feature that was improperly installed. Accessibility feature?
From this video, it could be a component of a wheelchair mount, could also be some kind of mobility aide. The real question in my mind is how or why it moved with the speed it did. It’s not that the rig itself seems particularly out of place, it’s the speed and power it moved with. Is there a possibility of foul play?
Ya think? Tito said.
That’s not a question for me, Mark Wilson said. But it’s a question worth asking.
We did ask this question, following up with the LAPD and also the FBI, who are now assisting. Both declined, citing the ongoing investigation. In fact, most everybody declined our second inquiry. We thought surely that the people there, relying on their perception of a single minute in time, would want to see the footage and discuss its ramifications. But not a single person who declined the first time accepted the second time, and even people who accepted the first time were now declining. We couldn’t even get my friend Stevie T to join us again, even though he directly told me to contact him if I had any other questions.
Yo, what. That’s fucked, Stevie said. They didn’t ask me again. They didn’t ask me. That’s so fucked up. Honey, please calm down. No, grandma. I’m sorry, but this is bullshit. I can’t believe I didn’t hear about this before. Christ, Tito said. Friggin slimeballs, all of them.
Since we couldn’t get the interviews we wanted, of the people who were really there, we were forced to look other places. First towards people like Mark Wilson and Doctor Choi, and then towards people like Doctor Laurie Middleton, the CEO of Body Consulting in Motion, an internationally recognized expert on body language. She reviewed the footage, and then asked us to slow it down. She did this so she could analyze it for what are called microexpressions, subtle movements of the face and body that do not necessarily appear at full speed.
We slowed the footage down to ten frames per second, making the video six times as slow. The full clip now stretched a full five minutes.
Laurie, we’ve both watched the video a few times. Yes. For like a half hour, right? Yeah, just about. It’s horrible, isn’t it? Oh Leslie, it is just so, so tough to watch. Ellen has been a part of my life, our lives, for so long, to see her be gravely injured over and over again, it was brutally difficult. Anything stand out to you?
Yeah, you know, Leslie, we watched it together, and judging by your body language, I think we were both really drawn to the same area of the video. It really proceeds normally until about halfway through the stomp routine. Then it gets interesting. At about frame 352, Stevie and Ellen rejoin eye contact, and there is a slight nod of the head, from both of them, that occurs at frames 352 to 397. At frame 415 Stevie begins his spin but Ellen does not. Now, I was very interested in the facial expression Ellen makes during frames 450-470. Stevie’s back is turned for these frames, that’s something we can touch on later. Ellen’s face goes through a number of changes, even in that very small amount of time. First, she is smiling, and I think you can feel the genuine affection she has for Stevie. Then, once his back is fully turned, you can see what I would call confusion on her face.
Right, right, Leslie said. Right? It’s obvious on her face, but look at her arms, they sink down to her side, the palms go out into the open position. It’s like someone saying – she held her palms fully open and stuck them out. Like, what are we doing? Yes, yes, right. Now, she makes her spin there, and you’ll notice Stevie gets back to his original position here. He gets back first, and you can see the look of anticipation on his face. His fists are balled up and pushed against his ribcage. Go forward just a little. Ellen comes back here, and this is the real kicker, she still looks confused. Just before that metal rod, oh god, that awful metal rod, she is still clearly confused. You can see it on her face and in her body. And you just have to wonder, why isn’t that emotion shared by Stevie?
Now, you said you wanted to touch on Stevie T with his back turned. What can you tell us about that?
Well, I don’t want to wildly speculate but, maybe he had his back turned like that for a reason.
A bold claim. A potentially criminal claim, Leslie said.
Well, he knows he has to come back to his original position, to be fair. But the eagerness to spin, the eagerness to turn his back to Ellen. That to me suggests something about his internal state at that moment in time.
This is outrageous, Stevie said. I can’t fucking believe it. I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT. I’m fucking suing, I don’t give a fuck. I hope Leslie gets fired. Literally, fired into the fucking sun. Stevie ran out of the room.
We reached out to Stevie T’s camp again after our interview with Doctor Middleton, offering an additional interview to discuss both the footage and the claims. They declined, citing Stevie’s busy schedule, including an upcoming trip to Russia. Just what Stevie was doing in Russia, where he is not known to have a large following? They further declined to comment. On behalf of everyone here at 60 Minutes, we wish Ellen a speedy recovery and we hope to provide a positive update at some point in the future.
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Next up, the world’s first trans beekeeper talks about ecological collapse.
Christ, they Zaprudered him. Oswalded him, Tito said. And they just had to throw the friggin Russia thing in. Can’t help themselves, I swear. I hate these people.
What, stop baby. Mel, did you see what I saw? They had a friggin witch doctor on to say Stevie has the devil in him. Boy they really screwed the pooch by not having him comment. They really tuned him up.
Oh dear, Mary said. I hope he’s alright out there. They walked out to the porch to see him but he was gone.